On My Own

Sometimes the best moments are when I’m by myself. Alone, surrounded by others. But I don’t have to interact with them. I don’t have to even look their way. Maybe they look at me, lying on the grass by myself. But I’ll never know.

I’m focused on me. How the sun warms my face and my bare arms. The way the grass tickles beneath my palms. I can go anywhere, or no where. It’s up to me. I might walk around, watching others pass by me. Everyone thinking about themselves just like I am.

If I want to go to a records store, I’ll go to a records store. I’m not bothered browsing vinyls by myself. If anything, it’s better. I can buy what I really want. Not what others suggest I listen to. I listen to my own opinion and I listen to the music playing in the store. It catches my attention. I feel my foot tap on the floor, as if involuntarily moving to the beat.

Eventually I’ll catch up with everyone. On the grass I’ll sit in a circle of friends as we laugh and talk. But at least I have these moments. Time with myself, checking in, making sure I’m alright. Because that time is often rare, but so important.

Model: Katya Kilongo @katilongo

Photographer: Mike Ivnitsky @mikeivnitsky