Blindsided.

I used to fit in your arms so well.

It’s all so good, the way you feel, the way you smell.

That never stopped, I loved you all the same.

Until one day you couldn’t accept my flaws,

ignored the circumstances as you put up your walls,

then acted as if temporary insecurities were apart of my name.

Hard times came crashing down, hit after hit our strength started to deplete, energies tied up, no longer a perfect fit.

Shock, denial, grief. There was no other sound, I was just trying to be strong for us but didn’t know the right things to say nor do to turn the situation around.

I wanted to help, only wanted to help. I so badly wanted to take away your pain, instead I feel like I was the easiest target for you to place non-existent blame.

Deal with the emotions, it’s so hard for you to do. Instead shutting down and no longer allowing me through. 

I didn’t see this coming, I thought we were happy from the start.

Thinking about this for days on end, why didn’t you talk to me or at least arrange a heart to heart? 

You run away, refuse to communicate, refuse to allow the situation to change.

I guess it was your world & I was just living in it, trying to push through.

Realization hit that this was nothing but a game to you, a controller of the mind.

Disappointed as I wonder, was anything you ever said true?

Tell me though for what was the prize,

and was it worth the integrity you left behind?

Trying to be open and explain, so we could communicate and understand each others pain.

Yet your opinion had formed, which was one of disdain.

Blindsided by your every move and now unsure what your words were trying to prove.

It turns out your views on love were misguided, obvious that what you want in life still undecided.

I can’t sweat that as now we’re done, although I’ll admit it’s a shame,

to think for a moment there, I thought I could love you like maybe you were the one.

Photographer: @lorenzozow

Model: @adelinetillard