Showgurl★

Sometimes, she feels like she’s drowning a slow death, trying to pull herself out of the smoke where there was once a burning fire wanting so bad to be inside. Instead, she’s still trying to pry open a locked door that maybe wasn't meant to be hers to desire.

A heavy realization; one she can’t stand to bear. Why can’t she fly like the rest? Instead, it seems she works and works only to be getting nowhere. As she keeps trying to be grateful to see the other side, she’s still sleeping in a rundown, over-priced nightmare, trying to fit into this digital age of lies, where it’s still just a ‘who you know’ love affair.

And they don’t see her. It’s as if all that she does is covered by shadows, where her light can’t shine through. She thinks she deserves pain, always envisioning a storm when it’s only supposed to rain. I tell her this year is going to be hers, but that’s something she's too tired to listen to. She replies only with some things you just know by the way they feel. To be living in this world, constantly in the background of another highlight reel, just makes my doubts so much more clear.

So tell me, how did that knife feel when you were twisting it in her back? Making her feel like she could never shine and glow, while you went and put someone else on a pedestal. I bet you thought you had her winding deeper into a dark unknown, but the girl has grit and a fierce determination that sees her giving no one the power to take her so low. Now she’s taking matters into her own hands where you’ll find she won’t stop. She’s coming for the role that will take her to the top, so you may as well sit back, relax and enjoy the show.

Photographer: Jen Senn @jenmsenn
Hair and makeup: Elayna Bachman @elaynabachman
Model: Molly Morrison @miss.molly.morrison