Stars in Salt Waves - Part 1
You feared that you might never be happy in your own grey reality. When you were with people, you often found yourself wondering what you were doing. You knew the club, smoke filled and bleak with its neon glare and you with your self-doubt, shielded by nothing more than limp, tousled hair was someplace you should not have been, with someone you had no interest in being with.
As the sound of their words got drowned out by imaginations running wild, you were longing to be anywhere but there. You often thought, who would want to love you. You, a person who's head was living amongst stars.
It was then in the most unlikely of places that one of those heavily dreamt upon stars had cast its illumination. In that moment he's there with you. You're no longer thinking about anything else. You discover you're no longer drifting off into a non-existent world. In that moment there’s no more questioning… In that moment, whispered the loudest of thoughts - ‘finally’.
Your heart is fleeting beat roars as you scramble to catch your breath. Why does it beat so fast when time appears to stand still, simultaneously it seems to slow right down as the room becomes nothing but a cold white blur. Your body becomes dazed as you're stuck in a trance, yet your eyes are alive as they light up from the foreign feeling that is exploding from within. Confronted by a wall-length mirror, you are met with your reflection as it shows you the galaxy that’s radiantly glowing inside your skin, you become highly aware of everything that is happening all around you.
How can one person's single presence have such a spellbinding effect… And tell me, how is it that he, with those sweetened baby blues that look into your soul, can make your chest lighten every time he enters into your mind.
Trumped by fear doubt comes in waves. Feelings aren’t always reality, they're not always shared but they are always powerful in the way we experience them. They’re an exponential fire that when they do hurt, they burn through you. Petrified coffee can turn out to be bullets. You question yourself. Do you run back to your dreamland where it’s safe, or, do you bank on the addiction that he is and take the risk ultimately plunging into the unknown where the rules are ‘make or break’.
Model: Kaily Emma Smith @kailyemmasmith
Photographer: Sarah Marzukie @sarahmarzukie