Real is Rare
They don't exist in two places at any one time. Yet, every weekend he's on repeat. This feeling is non-stop, it’s all night time and morning skies with no end. Is he the drug or the dealer? He has her feeling weak, disorientated and unable to speak… You know she’s addicted but you milk your honey so she stays unfazed but baby when the silence hits, the messy heads multiply.
Her time with the others was nothing short of an uncomfortable feeling. It was filled with moments of sitting in silence, internally screaming, not knowing why they couldn't hear nor see the world she believed in. But with him it’s different; there’s galaxies in his eyes that go on for miles, stopping only for the shortest moment when his vision comes to life - finally, someone else who’s in their own mind.
She’s been here before. It’s 2 am and there’s nothing left but thoughts of him. Head pounding from the haunting daze of déjà vu, she’s reminded that this isn’t what they’re searching for. Stay focused is a common reminder although she realised in terms of emotions it was already too late. They closed off and chose their circus that belonged to the lonely hearts club, but by now you know what you want and she’s there, wishing you would just show up. So where’s the problem, what’s the wait?
Struggling to write this piece as images of him cloud her imagination, pastimes start to creep up like trauma. Remember when she started to fall for the boy with his guitar, singing for his dreams all the while staying wild at the seams. All of that came undone as his oceans came together and he stopped to stall throwing her crushed heart against the old concrete wall.
Maybe it's time to put some rules into place. With you it’s all fun and games as you play your nice guy card, he has that good guy charm going on that has her in his zone until it’s obvious there’s no room for anyone else.
These things take time but they keep picking up the pace, wild hearts and messy heads, dazed and confused all the while consumed by feelings that aren’t quite known. You say if she can make you smile then she will smile, too and now she’s at a loss of what to do for everything he claimed was true. This is all starting to shine on through. She can’t allow her shield to drop. Does she close off and run away or play it out and ride on through?