How to Leave Your Inner Dating-Grinch Behind ❤️

📸  by    @mlhlmd

📸  by @mlhlmd

I’ve come to realise the obvious: Dating is hard. Dating in a city like Sydney? Even harder.

I’m going to be brutally honest now: I’ve never tried a dating app. I have considered it, but even the thought of it always overwhelmed me. I’m so awkward at the best of times. How would I juggle trying to think of cool, witty one-liners to guys, who come across as a little too keen for one thing and one thing only? The first question that would pop up in my head: With how many chicks is this person actually speaking to on here? Then my thoughts keep trying to find answers the question, and the result just leads me to one thinking…

No thanks.

I know so many people, who just don’t date because they fear it or they dread it. I get it. First dates are scary! I completely understand the dating woes. However, when I speak for myself, you could basically call me the dating grinch - yes, the frustration is next level.

I mean, you meet someone, you question their motives, and if initially, all goes well, you open up to them eventually. Then it’s either one way or the other. And often it just doesn’t work out. But how many times can one person pick themselves up again after realising that this first person - or the second, or third one… you get where I'm going - is just not the right one?

In fact, I rarely go on dates. If I were modelling in a calendar shoot, I can guarantee you that I would have been pinned as ‘Dateless December’. However, I’ve been on one dinner date this year. I was hesitant at first because of bad experiences, weak nerves, and the effort you always have to put in it - as just the usual norm these days. But I gave in and agreed.

The location was kept as a surprise. Now before I say anymore you should know that I don't do well with surprises when I know they're coming. Even though I appreciate them. I’m the type of person who needs to google how a movie ends before I actually see it. I can’t handle that kind of anticipation. So you can imagine the anxiety I had when I came to the questions ‘what do I wear?’, ’Shall I go for heels or flats?’, ’Is this place fancy?’, and ’I don't want to be overdressed but what if I'm underdressed?’.

Normally, I really couldn't care less as to what I’m wearing, as long as I feel comfortable. But for first impression's sake, being rusty on my game, not to mention that a really cute guy was awaiting me, I slightly panicked. This whole thing ended up with multiple outfit changes, a borrowed skirt -that, of course, I did not end up wearing - as well as tonnes of selfies that were sent to my friends, asking for their opinions. Then, in the end, I bought not one, but two new outfits - although, to be fair, I was going to buy them regardless.

After I couldn’t handle it any longer, I was finally asking where we were going. Yes, I ruined the surprise - What. A. Catch.

However, in the end, I did really have a great time! For those interested in what I ended up wearing: I opted for a yellow dress with black sandals. It was a good choice that resulted in having a couple of other women in the venue approaching my date asking him: “Where did your girlfriend get her dress from?” Win for Kaily…

However, what I realised was that dating just shouldn’t be so hard! It also doesn't have to be the go-to coffee or daunting dinner date. If you genuinely want to get to know someone, go for more outdoorsy, adventurous activities, where you can connect, laugh and be silly, showing your true self! There’s so much you can do. It’s time to get creative. If you can’t, there are other options: Go for a beach hang where you guys chill and go for a swim, do a fun hiking trip, or go take a surfing lesson together. And believe me, the last one is actually pretty awesome. I met a cool guy who took me surfing - FUNNEST. DAY. EVER! Although I received some nasty friction burns to my body, as well as an allergic reaction to something, which ultimately ended the date with an emergency trip to the chemist - where I was in so much pain that I couldn't even bend over to put my shoes on, so I may have had to be carried… It was awkward. I was awkward. And with Awkward, I mean embarrassing. But at least I was an awkward person, carried by a shirtless hot guy. So who was the real winner here? #nobrainer #worthit

Other dating ideas? Go exploring and take a picnic - how good is eating with your hands? Anyone? Go on little road trips and take the scenic route. Try sky diving, or something that will take you out of your comfort zone. Or perhaps, just opt for a coastal walk and grab breakfast afterwards - the best meal of the day after all. Group dates can also be really funny. Moreover, they give you and your date enough space to relax and be themselves. It’s indicated with less pressure, so grab a bunch of friends and go bowling, golfing or again, have a beach day and take a football.

If you look at it from the fun perspective, a date is actually just making new friendships at first. If you think like that from the beginning, I guarantee you it won’t be that hard and you will get to enjoy it a hell of a lot more.

You may even find someone, who was worth the multiple outfit changes and nerves…

Love Kails xx