Adore Me Alone


I like to be alone. I forgot that for a while. I like the idea that when I walk out of somebody's line of view; it’s almost like I cease to exist. Well, in their story anyway. I like the idea that my story is my own and I am the only one who will ever understand the full scale of it.

I relish in quiet mornings all by myself wearing my favorite clothes even if they don’t make sense, in coffee at 5pm, in dancing to songs that are only good in my sentimental memory. I flourish in the space to learn new things; to be a fool and a novice without anybody to notice.

I play with the facets of my reflection as the light changes, falling in love with blues and pinks all cast in yellow light. I feel like I still don’t know the exact color of my own eyes. I can often be found lying on the ground with a spark hanging from my lips, staring at the ceiling while seeing different scenes play over it. Eyes that drift shut as behind them I start to write sonnets that may never see the light of day. Sometimes, I fall asleep in my underwear next to the ashtray, dreaming in color as music of my mind's own creation lulls me under the tides of my own subconscious. 

Photographer: Ariel Spiegel 

Model: Anastasia @nastyaa_kry